I met my first high school boyfriend Chris the summer before starting high school. I was 14 and he was 16 and he had a car! My best friend Anne and I were outside my house and saw him and his buddy inline skating down the street. We starting talking and that night I didn’t end up coming home until 2 am. We talked about everything and anything. At some point we ended up at the beach and I remember clearly him asking if he could kiss me. I melted. From then on we were inseparable. Our relationship wasn’t perfect by any means. By this time in my life my anger was uncontrollable. I would lash out at my boyfriend Chris mostly; I wonder where I learned it from?
In the fall I started Boca Raton Community High School. It was much different from my previous school. There was a shit ton of kids and the school at the time seemed so big. My first day of school it rained all day and I had to take the bus. My first class was PE. I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve never been a morning person and the last thing I wanted to do was change into PE clothes and be active. This school had block scheduling, which meant that you had four classes a day 90 minutes each. In January when I came back from Christmas break I had four all new classes. I think this was supposed to set us up getting used to a college schedule. All I knew was that 90 minutes seemed like an eternity. Since Chris went to the same school we got to hang out during lunch. I even learned that the seniors got to leave after lunch if they had enough credits not to have a fourth class for the day. I took full advantage of that situation. Chris had the car, I had the ideas. It was the prefect escape. Blend in with the seniors to the student parking lot and book it!
I also started experimenting with drugs and alcohol at this point. The first time I got drunk was at a house party. I drank so much that I fell into a wall and put a dent into it but didn’t feel a thing. I started smoking pot recreationally. I ignored curfew when there was even one enforced. The physical abuse from my mother escalated. I took it in stride and let her hit me, pull me around by my hair, slap me around. I decided to just take it instead of fighting back, I mean what was the point anyway? I found other ways of dealing with it, whether it was through alcohol, pot or even hitting Chris. Most of his friends at the time couldn’t stand me because I had such a bad attitude. We ended our relationship when I was 16. I put him through a lot of shit within those two years and apologize deeply to the bottom of my heart because he was such a good guy but at the time, he was my scapegoat. I did manage to befriend one of his friends and stay friends with him until this very day but in the beginning I know I wasn’t his biggest fan. Drew, I thank you for your friendship still to this day. I love you bro!
Misguided Mommy 