In the summer of 1993, my mom, brother and I left the outskirts of Jacksonville Florida for Boca Raton Florida. We found a beautiful four bedroom, split level house with a pool. It was a new start and a new beginning to the three previous harsh years of my life. My mom wanted me to attend catholic school once again but this time just enrolling wasn’t going to be so easy. I had to take an entrance exam and go through an interview and I’m sure that my previous school records were criticized. Needless to say I didn’t get into this prestigious catholic school in Boca Raton, so instead, my mom sent me to a private Lutheran school in Deerfield Beach, a town south of Boca.
Starting a new school again wasn’t something I was looking forward to. During that summer before school started I did make friends with other kids on our street but none of them would be attending the same school. Great. It was a very small school, only about 15 students per class and 30 per grade. It ran from elementary school all the way up through high school so for the first time in our lives my brother and I would be attending the same school. I stared 7th grade in the fall of 1993. At first things didn’t seem so bad, yes I had to wear a uniform again but the other kids seemed nice. I even had a couple of boyfriends during 7th grade.
I don’t know why I was targeted, maybe because I had changed over the summer. I was different in a school were top 40 and hip hop was cool not Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana and Sonic Youth. During this time I also became sexually active, losing my virginity at the age of 13. The most embarrassing part of the whole ordeal is that I lost it to a boyfriend that was my mother’s boyfriend’s son. It made for a hard relationship trying to hide it from both our parents but we didn’t succeed. Even after being caught, they got engaged and we moved into their house.
Anyway, wearing Airwalks and converse shoes, carrying around a disc man listening to alternative rock/grunge and dying my hair different colors. I was more confident and abrasive. I was so sick of taking my mothers shit at home that I developed an attitude of sorts. When she became abusive I decided to defend myself and hit her back. This didn’t have the effect I thought it was going to have, it made it worse. My mom didn’t approve of my colored hair and bitchy attitude. When I think back , I laugh and think well what the fuck did you expect?
At first it was the boys mostly. I wasn’t ugly or fat, just different and indulging in my new love for rock music and grunge. They knew I was dating a high school boy and was probably too mature for them, but maybe that’s what started to set them off. They would find ways to pin me in corners and try to feel me up. They would grab and grope my tits and touch my vagina. Once I was even shoved into the boys bathroom and told to give a kid a blowjob or I wouldn’t be let out. There were three of them in there berating me and telling me I was a slut because they knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I didn’t end up having to when one boy let me go because he saw the harassment was going to far. It was never-ending with this group of boys. The teachers didn’t even do anything, they saw what was happening but didn’t say a word, something that would never happen in today’s schools. After the guys starting in on me it was only a matter of time before the girls started calling me a slut and saying I was trying to steal their boyfriends. Bitch seriously? Your boyfriend is the one that was groping and assaulting me! I don’t think they understood I didn’t want this attention. Either way it had a profound effect on my behavior at school. I started to become a problem child at school with teachers calling my mother and asking her countless times what was wrong with me and why wasn’t I on medication? My mother got so sick of the school calling she bought a caller ID and anytime their number showed up she wouldn’t answer the calls anymore. I tried to explain to my mom what a shitty school it was and how I was going to flunk every grade, but that just pissed her off and made her ignore me. Maybe I should have been more straightforward about exactly what was going on but it was just too embarrassing. Imagine telling your mom that you have boys at school sexually harassing you? Luckily because of my poor grades and bad behavior I was asked not to come back for high school. Good!
By the way I remember every name of those boys that did that to me and I hope they are living shitty lives right now because what they did was down right wrong and given the chance to go back I would punch every single one of them in the face and kick them in the balls so hard they would be sterile right now.
Misguided Mommy 